Monday, July 21, 2008

Did I make the right decision?


It’s coming up on ten years since I made this decision and even now I’m wondering if it was the right choice. No, it’s not about if I married the right man, though sometimes in a fit of anger I do wonder that too.

The decision I made was when I was working in my very first job at the age of 17. I was working at a Six Flags in California as a costume character. Really a great job, just as long as you don’t get beat up by the guests. Yes, that really does happen, a lot. Anyway, it was getting close to the Fright Night festivities and I was asked by my supervisor to play a part in one of the shows in the haunted house. I was so excited and jumped at the chance because, not only did it pay more, but I would be one of the lucky few who to be apart of this month long event.

Then I found out what exactly was my new job. I was to be a dancer, almost like a stripper because I had to lean to swivel my hips (ballet does not teach that), and the story would be I was a caught in a fire and it burned one half of my body and face. I was to dance with the good side showing and then turn and “frighten” people with the decaying side. It sounded gross, but I thought it could be ok even though a little red flag was popping up in my head.

I met with the seamstress because as a Christian woman I didn’t want an outfit that was too revealing.

Well, the more I thought about what the new job was about the more I questioned if it would be glorifying to God.

Well, let’s see. I’m portraying something that’s a terrible thing to happen to anyone. I’m dancing in a provocative way and who knows what that’s doing to the people watching me. And no matter how modest the costume was going to be I still felt like it was too sexy.

Now if I didn’t do this job my other choice was to quit my original job early. At the time I was working to save up money. I needed as much money as I could put together, since I was putting myself through college.

Well, I decided in the end to quit my job. A lot of people were not happy with me. Some of my co-workers even tried to make me feel bad about my decision. But I tried to hold my head up high and told them I did not think God would be happy with me doing the dancing job. Oh, how my supervisor, boss, even the seamstress tried to change my mind. Still, I stood by my decision.

Now that I have reflected on the past I don’t see any reward for making that decision. Did I really make the right choice? Was I really doing what God wanted me to do?

Yes.

Yes, I believe I have made the right choice. I believe that even though I may not see any reward for making that decision, I know God will reward me in heaven. Maybe because I stood up for myself and said that it wouldn’t be pleasing to God that maybe it affected the people around me in a positive way. That in itself would be reward enough.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Scripture Bracelet

Recently, a friend of mine gave me a bracelet that had random beads that didn’t go together. I was thrilled because, you know, she’s new at beading. The more I looked at the beads I realized that there was some sort of repetition to them, but there was no particular order to them. When I finally looked up at her with the confusion on my face, she explained what the bracelet was really about.

It was Scripture bracelet. The passage that she used was Matthew 6:25-30 Jesus’ teachings on Worry. Each bead represented a word or phrase in the passage. I tell you it makes it really easy to help me remember this passage!

At first I though, there’s so many passages she could have used why this one about worry? Well, I don’t tend to be a worrier. I believe God is control of everything and if He even knows when a Sparrow falls in the field why would He not care more about me? There have been times, I will admit, when it seems like God just isn’t there and I’m standing alone in the dark wondering what to do next. That’s when hard times fall on me. A loss of a family member, money issues, the endless night with a toddler who is sick to his stomach (that was recently, shouldn’t have given him pizza)., it’s those times when I don’t know what do to but pray. ..and worry… can’t help it, I’m human too.

So this beaded bracelet, this random chaos of colors, this piece of jewelry with beads that were very carefully chosen with a Scripture Passage that means so much to me in my everyday life, was made with love from a fellow sister in Christ. Talk about humbling me. Every time I look at the bracelet and think of my friend I am reminded ‘not to worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow has it’s own problems‘. I am reminded of Gods love for me, and now I feel closer to Him than ever; even when it seems like I’m in the dark.

Matthew 6:25-30 NIV

25“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or stow away in barns, and yet the heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
28 "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dresses like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?”

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

7 Tips for bead shows

I just recently went to a bead show near-by and found lots of goodies. I bought lampwork beads, pearls, dagger beads, geo stone pendants and a spring time colored mix kit that had oodles of random but color coordinated stuff. The people were just fantastic and even those I was pushed out of the way a few times by another avid beader who was blinded by all of the sparkling goodies, I still had a wonderful time.

Bead shows are some of the best times to meet other people, get to know their work and the artistic minds behind them. I met a wonderful lady who does lampwork who was just as much of an artist as Van Gogh. She was just so proud of her work that you can tell this was a real passion for her. I shared the same passion with making beaded things which is why I share with all of you. See how the circle of desire, of love for art, of unbridled passion works? (My husband is now laughing as he finishes reading that sentence. For shame, get your mind out of the gutter!)

Anyway, I’d like to give you some pointers on bead shows and how to find the pearl in the oyster so to speak?

1) Browse. This is the hardest to do first thing walking through the door. If the show is fairly small, like the one I went to, this will be easier to do. It the show is large, good luck.
I say to browse because it gives you an idea of who is selling what and what attracts your attention. Make note of the booths you want to come back to. Start on the outside of the show, work your way around and then dive into the middle. (Seems to be grocery shopping is done the same way….) If something catches your eye, don’t be afraid to stop and look, ask questions, and if it is something largely unusual or one-of-a-kind buy it. If it’s common things, dagger beads or seed bead, the what-not, keep browsing.

2) Compare prices. I bought some dagger beads because I thought they looked unusual. Wouldn’t you know it? I didn’t finish browsing first and I found someone else selling the exact same thing! Luck for me I spent $6.50 and the other booth was selling it for $9.50. Compare, compare, compare!!

3) Fondle the beads. (my husband is laughing again) You can not know the quality of the beads until you handle them. This will also help you understand the quality, heft, and see if there are any broken beads hidden amongst the gems. If for any reason the person selling the beads do not want you to touch the beads then you don’t want to buy them. They are obviously trying to hide the fact that there is something wrong with their beads; most likely the quality is cheep and the price too high. But don’t fret my avid readers, most bead sellers are just as much in love with beads and you and I.

4) Don’t be afraid to ask questions. I know that in a bead show sometimes the price is not on every strand of beads or the price card fell off someplace, so you have to be loud and get the sellers attention. I asked several times the price of things and gently put the beads back saying “beautiful but too much for me”. The seller is there to answer your questions. Yes, even the dumb ones. If they don’t know the answer, that’s ok. You just email me and I’ll get the answer for you.

5) Look for the odd, unusual and the one-of-a-kind. Unless you have a project in mind and you’re picking out the colors, find the things that you can’t find online. I am personally a gleaner and a grab bag grabber. I know that if I get the odd things then I can go online or to a bead store to get the beads to go with it. Bead shows are perfect or the odd stuff.

6) Look for deals on the everyday things. Bead shows will always have someone with a good sale. One booth I bought from was selling fresh water pearls for 3 dollars a strand. Hot dog I was all over it. If I used pearls a lot I probably would have spent a good portion of my bead money on them, but I restrained myself.

7) Enjoy the purchases you make! I know that when I leave I always think back to what I looked at and wished I could have gotten them too. But in the end I know I made the best choices for me and know that there will be other bead shows.

Have a beady day!

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Orphan Beads

Do you have orphan beads? You know, the kind that don’t match any other, the one left behind from a set, the one you didn’t need in your pattern? That poor little bead, all alone in it hiding place. You look at it once in a while and remember what you did with the others but you have no plans for this one. Feeling a little bit guilty yet?

Well, don’t be. I certainly have my share of poor little lonely orphan beads. I keep then all in a box so they have company with the others just like them. The outcasts of my bead stash.

What is an artist to do?

There are big ones, small ones, teeny tiny ones, ceramic, glass, stone, purples, browns and reds. They don’t really go together, but they all have the same common denominator. They certainly aren’t junk beads, I spent good money on them! But there they are, starting back at me from their hiding place. Waiting…. Watching…

This world is a lot like those poor little orphan beads. If you really look at other people, and I mean with that artistic eye you have been gifted with, you’ll notice that everyone is different. Now Emily, you say, of course I know every one is different, everyone is special, we learned that back when we were three years old on the playground. But what I mean is not just what you’ve been taught, but what you really observe. Sure, we all look different. Shoot, I mean people who look alike look different, but why? Why did God make everyone different? Wouldn’t it just have been easier to make everyone the same? Then we wouldn’t worry about growing old and wrinkly or if our nose is bigger than it should be or how fat or skinny we are. Seems silly doesn’t it?

But what really make us different? Is it just the outside? Just the colored glazing like in that bead stash? Or is it more; is it deeper than that which makes us unique? If you listed everything about you and compared it with everyone else in the world your would find that no one has the exact same list. Isn’t that amazing? There’s, like, a billion people on earth and you are the only one like you. Just like that orphan bead. The only one. Won’t be another one, just you. Just take a moment and relish how you are so special to be the only one like you.

Now to interrupted that moment, think again about that stash of orphan beads. Since you have had that moment to reflect on how wonderful you are, think about all the people in your life. Friends, family, the guy next door who can’t keep his dog off your lawn, and think about how each of them are different and special (or not) in your life. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

Now go get that bead stash I have a project for you. I would like you to pick out beads that remind you of each person in your life. It don’t matter what they look like, just pick. Oh! And don’t forget to pick one that represent you! Now, take that pile of beads and make a necklace, bracelet, earrings, basketball net if you have that many orphan beads and put you right in the center. Now you have a project to do with those orphan beads! You have something to not only remind you of those who love you, but also how wonderful and special you are.

I would love to see those finished projects! You are more than welcome to email me with pictures and if you like (please specify in the email) I will post your pretties on this blog so everyone can see.

Here’s the email gruene_beadle@yahoo.com.

Have a beady day!

Sunday, February 17, 2008

It's all about Mom

Today we celebrated my moms and my nieces birthday. They were born exactly 50 years apart on the same day and today they celebrated their 9th birthday connection. Now that I have completely embarrassed my mom for revealing her true age, and she doesn't look 59 by the way, let me just tell you how great is my mom. And if you are one of my readers who is now wondering what this has to do with beads, hang in there.

My mom was Super Mom. She had two boys, didn't have kids for 9 years then had me and my little brother. To her it was like have another family all over again. She home-schooled us, kept the house in pristine condition and still dragged us to all of our extra curricular activities. She made sure we were clean, well fed and always looked nice. We went to church every Sunday and AWANA that night. We went to museums, art galleries and aquariums. If we we’re interested in a subject that we we’re learning at the time (for me it was all about Egypt in 4th grade) she let us study it all we wanted, got us more materials and took us anywhere we needed to go until we where absolutely sick of the subject. (I still like Egypt, but only in small quantities now). She believed that if you were interested in learning something it meant that you should learn as much as you can about it. No restrictions when it came to learning. She must have been a good teacher because I made mostly A’s and a couple B’s in college and graduated with highest honors. My mom instilled the love of learning in me. To this day I still would rather watch Discovery Channel or TLC than anything else.

Now this is where is relates to beads. My mom was the one who introduced me to beading. It was just supposed to be something to keep me busy until the baby came. She didn’t realize that this subject was suddenly like Egypt was back in 4th grade. For the next year I wanted to try it all. Stringing (got that down easy), bead weaving (My FAVORITE! So many stitches), Polymer clay bead making (interesting) and Lampworking (haven’t tried yet but love the outcome). I have bead magazines coming out of my ears and still can’t wait for the next one to come out in the next quarter. I have dog-eared so many pages in my bead books that the books should be barking.

Here’s the other connection that I saw today. I had made my mom a necklace, bead woven out of hundreds of tiny seed beads, for Christmas. I took me three days to complete. I didn’t realize that she didn’t have any clothes that matched the colors in the necklace. (It was dark blue and cream!) But she became Super Mom again. She went out to buy an outfit for her birthday to match the necklace. She wore it proudly today at the restaurant. She may not even realize that because of her instilling that love of learning, the patience to continue until the project was done, and introducing me to beading in the first place she would have been wearing something else today. That necklace never would have been made, she never would have known the pattern ever existed and that silent thank-you-for-being-my-mom-and-making-my-life-better-because-you-cared-so-much-about-me-and-my-future wouldn’t have been shared in such a beady way.

Thanks mom for being my mom. I love you.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Lampwork Beads, the Artists behind them and my connection.

As I was diving into my bead stash I came across some Lampwork beads that I had bought and had stored away. I realized that I still have no idea what to do with them. When I buy Lampwork beads, a rarity because they can be so expensive, I buy them because they make me feel something. Either it brings back feelings from my childhood in the country, or where I want to go in the future as a wife and mother. Yes, I dream ideally.

As I admired these beads, and pondered once again how to use them, I thought how each bead is different from another. I have one that look like a southern woman in a purple dress and matching hat holding some flowers. (I bought that one because it's feels like who I want to be, having garden parties in the back yard... a little bit like Gone with the Wind so to speak). I have another that looks like a blue-green mermaid with brown hair an . (That made me feel like a kid again watching The Little Mermaid). I also have one that looks like a roasted turkey. (I think I was hungry at the time, but it also says something about my sense of humor).

Each bead so different from the other. Each bead made by a different artist.I had the pleasure of meeting two of the artist that made the beads.

One make the woman and one made the turkey. The artist who made the woman was very quiet and sweet. She was in her fifties and seemed like the type to crocheted doilies if she wasn't making beads. Her color choices where also soft and subtle. I had bought this bead long before I even met her, but now I can see how her personality transferred into the bead and made a connection with me and the dream of having quite garden parties.

The turkey bead I had bought after I had met the artist at a bead show. She was loud and playful and if you weren't prepared before hand she could come off as way over the top. I loved her sense of humor. Her outlook on life was 'it's all stage and look at me I'm the only one dancing'. Just crazy. We had a good time talking, laughing and making jokes. Then after looking at the beads she made I asked what was the craziest bead she had. That was when she pulled out the turkey. She explained how she wanted to make it look more roasted and something about a cat, but next thing I know I'm walking away with a bag and a 3" turkey in it. My husband must have thought I had gone off my rocker myself and kept asking what I was going to do with it. It's been almost two years and I still don't know.

Each bead so different from another. Each artist so different from each other. I felt a connection with them, even though I may never see them again, but it's like a friend has been made. I'll always remember them through these beads.

As I put the beads away I thought about how I could and should display them. It has to be something that says that it's equal to the artists who made them. One more day of pondering. I'll decide what to do with them tomorrow.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Life and Beads

When I started beading I was pregnant with my son, now 15 months, and realized that if it wasn't for the new life growing inside me I never would have taken up such a wonderful and fulfilling hobby! Now I look at my beaded treasures as not only little pieces of art, not only as something to wear or have, but a part of my very being, my life. Also, whenever I sell a beaded piece it like giving a piece of my love away to someone. I guess that really true for all artists.

You know, you put so much time and energy into one piece of jewelry or object of some sort, that when it's done it hold your memories in it. It's like a mini document of your life.

For example, my uncle was dieing of cancer and he was sent home because there was nothing else the doctors could do for him. One night we got a phone call telling us that he probably won't live through the night. Other than crying, what else could I do to cope with it? I beaded. I started this sweet bracelet that was one of the projects in a magazine. I made it with pink crystals, pink seed beads and the toggle was a beaded crystal heart. The pattern started with the heart and worked down to the bar part of the toggle. As I was working I was thinking about the last time I had visited my Aunt and Uncle. I was 8 months pregnant with my son and two states away from my OB/GYN. It didn't matter. I got to see my Uncle and my dad sail in the "Viking" boat my Uncle had from his home country. My Uncle had to store the boat that day so it was the last sail of the year. I remember helping to clean the little wooden boat by being the official coin depositor at the car wash. I watched as my Uncle teased my Aunt by spraying water at her. Just like a couple of teenagers. I could tell they loved each other very much.Those memories were being put into that pink bracelet. Then as I worked I thought about my aunt and how her life was going to be different once her husband was gone. I started to cry again. I knew life went on; there had been many deaths in my family, but it never gets any easier.We got one more phone call a couple of days later. It was the call that my uncle had passed away. I was almost done with the bracelet and realized that I couldn't keep it for myself. I had to send it to my aunt. It's not just my memories in this bracelet, but also hers. This is what I wrote to her.

I started with the heart because that's where love starts. I chose pink because pink keeps us young, just like love does. Each crystal is a memory of a treasured moment.

When we got the call I was working on the bar part of the toggle, I realized that although love sometimes ends when life ends it is needed in order for love to be complete. You can't wear the bracelet without the beginning and the end. You can't love someone unless you accept that there is death at the end of life.

That's why I bead.